BIG AND BRITISH

A fat Polish geezer, a bargain basement playboy from Blackpool, a crackpot from Las Vegas and a lot of handbags have kept the British heavyweight division alive in recent months. There was never a glory time for the Britain's domestic heavyweights. There was a time when the best fought the best but that was a long time ago and not all of the fights were worth watching. 

Also, what was the best back then? Better than Lennox Lewis? Better than Danny Williams? Better than Herbie Hide? You get the picture. I have been ringside or close to it for a lot of British heavyweight title fights starting with Jack Bodell beating Joe Bugner in 1971. I can't remember a thing about it but I know now it was bloody boring. Since then I've seen a lot. I particularly like the 31-month and 24-month gaps in the '70s. The decade was a disgrace. 

And as for the '60s, only eight British heavyweight fights took place. Give me a break and please never try and tell me that the '80s legends like Gordon Ferris, Hughroy Currie and Neville Meade could live with Hide, Williams or even Audley Harrison. The division at the moment gets a lot of stick. Sure, it is not great but it could be if a few of the fighters decided to fight each other instead of the usual suspects. The problem right now with British boxing and not just the heavyweight division is that nobody wants to fight anybody. What division is a lot weaker now than it was in say the '70s, '80s and '90s? 

It is certainly not the heavyweights. Oh and I forgot, we have got Big Lennox. But let's look at the rest of Britain's big boys.

THE LEADING LIGHTS Herbie Hide: Former double WBO heavyweight champion Hide is a crank. "I'm not all the ticket," he said recently. He is right. Hide also won the British title and he wants the Lonsdale belt outright. He should get the chance to fight for it but for a variety of reasons he will probably miss out. 

Hide needs to fight and keep busy and keep out of trouble. He is a father now with two kids and in the last few months he has fought three times. He has been busy and that is good. However, he has also been in the middle of skirmish at York Hall and his pursuit of Harrison has led to the Olympic champion going to America. The brutal truth is that Harrison and Hide on their own would struggle to fill York Hall but against each other, with a few tricks, they could shift 10,000 tickets. Therefore, Fight Number One, the only realistic British heavyweight fight that will take place and move more than 500 tickets, is Hide against Harrison. I'm a big Hide fan, which is not the same as saying I think he can beat Harrison. 

I'm a big Harrison fan but that is not to say that I think he will beat Hide. You get the picture? Frank Bruno: Former WBC heavyweight champion Just when it looked like Big Frank was ready to get back in the ring his state of mind let him down. A depression settled and Bruno ended up in a special hospital at the start of July. He was sick, he was tired and he was, so insiders claimed, in a terrible state. Pity, great pity. However, the return is not off. Bruno is depressed, so what. Mike Tyson has been depressed and on prescription drugs since 1989. 

He twice fought in Britain. If Bruno never fights again it will be because Bruno decides to stay away and not because the British Boxing Board of Control deem him unfit to enter a British ring. If he sails through the medical he will fight and he should be allowed to make the final decision. Bruno was a terrific fighter. He has never been given the respect he is due. I hated the people that promoted him at the start of his career and because of something I wrote they banned me for nearly five years. However, I never doubted that Bruno could fight and bang. 

If Bruno hit Audley Harrison anywhere above his big toe the fight would be over. Sadly, Bruno's most vulnerable area is the pocket. Forget his chin that has taken some fearsome beatings. So-called chinny fighters go over in a second. Bang, they are on the floor. Naseem Hamed style, not Bruno style. Bruno's senses collapse a lot quicker than his supposedly fragile chin. If Big Frank does get a licence, if Big Frank does get a few quid then Big Frank against Hide or Harrison would be a major attraction. Audley Harrison: Olympic super-heavyweight champion This guy is an enigma. 

He pockets the BBC's cash and then rips them to pieces on his website. He cops a dreadful attitude and then wonders why nobody likes him. Jesus, have you ever known a situation where a star's personal security guards are nicer than the star! What happened to the cuddly-weave haired-poem-boy from Sydney? Come back big bear, we still love you. Also, big bear can fight. 

See last month's Big Daddy for the final word on my opinion of his talents. However, he is off now to get stuck into three bums overseas until Christmas. The BBC will show the fights and hopefully have a deal in place for his triumphant homecoming in January. When he returns he will have to select a name from the British list of eligible and desperate dance partners. It will not be Hide. It will not be Bruno and it will not be Williams. Harrison has pulled clear of the world's leading novices. 

He is tucked in nicely waiting for the wannabes to implode and the protected to get beat. He is not an idiot but he will not benefit from the crack epidemic in the USA that robbed Lewis of several quality fights 12 years ago. Harrison in a rematch with Sinan Samil Sam or Ruslan Chagaev will be his future. Good fights and hard tests. We want Williams and/or Hide. Danny Williams: British heavyweight champion The nicest man in British boxing. Too nice and too brave. However, on his night he will make the memory of that dreadful beating in Germany against Sam drift clear away like a poison cloud. His recent win against the hopeless Aussie ended with an example of what he can do. 

I wish Williams had fought Ray Mercer two years ago and I wish he had fought Tim Witherspoon in October 2001. His position would be different now. Williams has taken care of the British scene in fights that have not really meant very much. Keith Long, Julius Francis and Michael Sprott all had their chance. All failed, but for some reason Williams slots in below Hide, Bruno and Harrison. 

If only the British Boxing Board of Control had some control. If the board had power they could order fights that matter and not rematches between Williams and Sprott or Long or Francis. I want to see Williams against Harrison next April. Why not? Harrison will be 15 and zero then and about 39. Williams will be a bit heavier, a bit older and in theory a bit more vulnerable. Lion promotes Hide and Lion has its eyes on Harrison. It would be a terrific fight for old-style fans. I want to get on a tube or be in a pub on my way to a fight and hear people chanting and singing a fighter's name. Hamed had 'em singing, Benn had 'em singing and Bruno had a chorus of believers. Williams against Hide or Harrison. 

Yes, please. However, expect a fat Tongan in a Commonwealth title defence. The Rest of the circus Michael Sprott: 23-5He has good recent wins but no profile and his heavy loss to Williams was hardly an event. A rematch almost makes sense but with the pair selling 400 tickets between them why bother? A decent fight but why make it? Sprott could take a risk in a European title fight with Sam for good money. 

As it used to say on old posters, underneath a fighter's name: Always in a good fight. Mark Krence: 16-1Nice bloke with a long jab. He will improve with trainer Tim Witherspoon in Philadelphia and could by the end of the year move clear of the rest. He famously caught Harrison last year and made him hold in their six-rounder.

 Krence needs to learn how to punch and Witherspoon can teach him. There are a lot of fights for Krence and a showdown with Sprott would work next year. Keith Long: 8-2-1Dogged and dull. Nobody really wants to fight poor old Keith because he is too tough. However, rumours of a serious knockout in the gym at the fists of Matt Skelton (see following article) have put a dent in his Teflon reputation. He should get work as the division's measuring stick but he is still too hungry and angry to risk because he can win. 

Ideal for Harrison because of his lack of height. Roman Greenberg: 11-0I would like to see Greenberg pushed back in a fight. I think he would love it. Greenberg might be the heavyweight with Long on his agenda. What if Greenberg stops him? Ouch, that will confuse the issue. If only Greenberg could fight John McDermott. That would be fun, a real fight. John McDermott: 16-0Big Bad John can fight. He has finished off some durable men with proper punches and not just big-arm slaps. It looks like the time is ripe to take a few risks with McDermott. 

His dad, Big Stan, had real fights. He won some and he lost some. McDermott Jr would probably benefit from a bit of competition. The Whipping Boys Julius Francis, 23-11-1, should surrender his passports and fight somebody a bit closer to home. He remains a good scalp and he knows how not to get hurt. Michael Holden, 10-8, is bouncing from fight to fight in a reckless manner. If he pulled back and got three wins he could be sold to the highest bidder and that includes Harrison. Pele Reid, 16-4-2, can still bang and that means that he is a very real threat for most British heavyweights. On his night, with a full tank, he is capable of dropping a mule.